Got Embryo's?

Testing, testing.......

2009-10-07T10:11:00.000-07:00

Is anyone out there?????

I feel like I've been under a rock for the past 5mo.

I have been checking up on all of you. Some of you just had your little miracles and others are with.

William is coming along just as he should. He babbles, rolls over and is even trying solids. He's Not so sure about the meats.

I wish I had more time to tell you all about me little guy. He's just so darn cute.

William and I started watching my friends 19mo, George. I have him twice a week. He keeps William entertained with all his cars and toys. George's Mom has taught him baby sign lanuage. I've been using some signs with him and I have to say I'm impressed. He tells me when he's hungry and when he needs a diaper change. He even says please.

Along with caring for George. I've been working on getting my website up. It seems like its taken me forever.

Well, got to go for now.

Talk to ya soon. xoxoxox

Still in my PJ's

2009-08-17T09:03:00.000-07:00

Having a hard start to the day. Sometimes I get a little down at the lack of things I get done. Trying to start this business on my own isn't helping. I only have a few things to finish to get it going. But something is keeping me from hitting the "go" button.

Hubby is very understanding of the whole thing. He knows that me taking care of our son is the most important thing. I just wish I could get out of this rut I'm in.

The baby and I are still trying to get a schedule. He sleeps pretty good at night, but doesn't tend to want to take a nap during the day. I play with him a lot in hopes to wear him out. We have flash card and books we read everyday. He really likes the books and the he seems to study the flash cards. Mommy even sings him silly songs like "Get up , stand up" from Bob Marley and the Wellers. He likes the classics too - "The wheels on the bus, Ole McDonald, Rubber Ducky."

I really do enjoy our days together and want to soak up every minute. That's probably has a lot to do with the fact I haven't given this new buiness life yet. I'm afraid it's going to take too much of my time.

Hopefully I can find a balance.

A couple of first

2009-08-04T06:11:00.000-07:00

When went to the park for the first time and had a picnic.

He was dressed when we leftt, but is was so hot we had to strip his clothes.

As you can see not all of us are having a good time.

First time wearing an outfit with a hood. He looks like an Ewok.

First time in his bounce-a-roo.

This thing is so cool!!!

He's 3mos now and I can't believe how fast he's growing.

His newborn clothes look even smaller now.

I guess that Mama milk does a body good.

Maybe ya'll will know

2009-07-16T11:18:00.000-07:00

I've googled it, called the doctor about it, I got nothing.

The past couple of weeks I've noticed I haven't had to shave my underarms. Not because it looks good long, but because it's not growing. Weird I know.

Google has like a million different things it could be. Most of them come with other symptoms.

So I called the OB yesterday and got a call back today. Basically they've never heard of it. "Maybe it could be hormones or maybe a thyroid, but not cancer."

Oh don't I feel better!!!

They offered to draw up blood work and test for a thyroid.

The question is do I want to find something wrong with me.

So my question to you guys is: Have you ever heard of such a thing?

Oh Mommy....

2009-07-14T10:00:00.000-07:00

how I love the, let me count the ways.....

You always take such good care of me. Even when I have the 3 P's.

Poop, pee and puke.

I can't wait to grow up and make you proud.

Until then I'll keep being your....

Hughy bear, wiggly Willy, little bouy, cuite putie, giggle-sarus and my favorite...one eyed Willy.

********************************************************************************** We had our 2 month check-up yesterday and all is good.

He weighed in at 11 lbs 10 oz and 23" long. I can't believe how fast he's growing.

We spend most of our day making silly sounds and singing. By the time DH gets home I find it hard to have a normal conversation.

Lord help anyone that calls. I tend to go into detail about the daily poo's and coo's.
So what if their seling newpapers. They called me!

When he's asleep I find myself not knowing what to do. Sure I Could be doing laundry, the dished, mopping the floor, cleaning bathrooms, working on my website or sleeping myself.

I have a video monitor I carry around, but most of the time I'm watching him. If he makes any kind of noise I'm there. Kind of hard to get things done when you live in a two story. At least I get some exercise.

Loving the bath... Finally!

Family get together. Notice the screaming baby.

My 2 cents

2009-07-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

Boppy Vs My Brest Friend

I registered for the Boppy because it was versatile. You can use it to nurse, for tummy time and helping the baby sit up. It seemed like the perfect tool.

But after nursing with it for awhile my back began to hurt. I found myself leaning over, so I used a pillow under it to help. Still the baby would get wedged between me and the Boppy.

After complaining to my Mom she bought me "My Brest Friend". At first I thought it looked silly because you have to strap it on. It looked like I was ready for the pool.

To my surprise it made a big difference with my back. I don't have to lean over, because it has to rasied bumps where the babies head goes. Being flat and firm helps too. It even has a pouch to keep all my nursing essentials in.

So the winner in my book for nursing is.....

"My Brest Friend"

Smile :)

2009-07-06T07:00:00.000-07:00

It only took a hundred shots to get these wonderful smile shots. I carry a camera with me all day in hopes to capture his best moments. I also have tons of video of him making cute coo sounds.

Everyday is like Christmas. I wake up to this beautiful boy and fill my day with his love.

Super Dryer!!!

2009-06-25T04:54:00.000-07:00

When I bought my $14 hair dryer I had now idea what a life saver it would be. It drys my hair, cools my hot spots and clams the baby.

I discovered the wonderful tool when I was trying to get a shower. If I put him in his bouncer (life saver in itself) and place the hair dryer beside him on the floor he fails right to sleep.

For the past few nights I've charmed him to sleep with it too. The only down side is up at 3 in the morning it wakes up hubby.

I can't complain too much, because he does sleep for about 4hrs straight during the night. Then Help sleep another 2 after he eats.

We are fighting a little diaper rash right now. But all in all he is a great baby!!!

Today we're going on our first outing were I don't know how long we'll be out. Since I'm nursing this should be fun. I did manage to pump a feedings worth. The world might have to wait to see these tatas.

3wks already!!!!

2009-05-29T07:58:00.000-07:00

It feels like its been one long day. Especially since I wear the same thing everyday. The c-section limits me to jogging pants (sexy). It is getting better.

We’ve had lots of fun these past 3wks. He loves to eat, poop and sleep. So do I! At night when I’m rocking him to sleep he makes all kinds of cute faces. He even laughs and smiles. It’s real funny. He’ll be half asleep while getting a big smile on his face and laugh.

Breastfeeding has gone good too. I was worried we would have a hard time. Now don’t get me wrong it is challenging. Those 3am feedings are a little rocky. But all in all we got it.

I did start pumping after his morning feed and storing it in the freezer. Next week I’m going to supplement a night feeding with a bottle. The goal is to have daddy help between 10pm and 1am so mommy can get a break (we’ll see).

Here's a few pics of our days.

This is how we roll......

Got a minute

2009-05-26T07:20:00.000-07:00

He's resting in my lap while I type with one hand.

Our days are going pretty good. He breastfeeds every 3hrs and naps about 3x's a day. Don't even ask me how many times I change his diaper.

He hates bath time and LOVES that darn pacifier.

Night time is getting better. We have a routine of about 2 feedings a night. Hubby gets up with me and changes his diaper. It's a real big help.

On the Mommy front, my c-section is healing nicely. The only problem is my right hand has been numb. It started about a week ago along with swollen feet. The feet have gone back to normal. No such luck with the hand.

He has a check up today. I'll post the stats later.

I'm in love with a boy.....

2009-05-20T07:16:00.000-07:00

2 am May 11th my water broke and we were off to the hospital.

10:18 am he was born by c-section due to cord around neck 4x's.

No other problems.

He is perfect!

6lbs 6oz

20" long

Blonde Hair

Blue eyes

Meet William James Nelson

Waiting.....

2009-05-08T05:40:00.000-07:00

Nothing to report-yet. It's been raining A LOT here this week so we've been a little lazy during the day.

Here's a look into what my furbabies do on rainy days.

This is really going to happen!

2009-05-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

Had a Doc appt Monday and everything’s ago – except no dilation. If nothing by this coming Monday Doc wants to look at Thursday the 14th. I suppose this mean induction, which I’m not sure how I feel about that. My due date is the 17th ,so why rush things right. I’m not going to get myself worked up about yet.

I have had time to think about the things I’ll miss about being pregnant.
· The attention I got.
· Wearing sweat pants and getting away with it.
· His little feet pushing in my side.
· And oddly enough the belly bump.

There are a few more but you get the idea.

This may be the only time I’ll ever be pregnant. I’m trying to enjoy the last few days we have together like this.

Sitting on "G" waiting for "O"

2009-05-01T06:06:00.000-07:00

2 more wks till due date!

I’ve been home for the past 3wks getting the last minute things ready for the baby. I’ve also got the online BIZ ready to launch, but I decided to wait till after he’s born to do it.In the mean time I’ve been cleaning out every closet and draw in the house. I even emptied out the office desk and redid the files. Yep, hubby won’t be able to find jack. The house seems like it’s closing in on me though. I guess because I’m running out of things to do. I could clean the bathrooms, but who in the hell wants to do that. Certainly not hubby.

“Hey honey could you please clean the shower?’

“When?”

“I don’t know. Maybe when the mold starts to grow up your leg and hold on!”

“What do I clean it with?”

Don’t get me wrong he’s been doing a wonderful job. It’s just when things seem so obvious I get a little b**chy.

I‘ve been walking to help make things happen -That’s what I read anyways. Hubby won’t do the other. He’s afraid he’ll mess things up. I think we’ll have to have that embarrassing talk with Doc on Monday.

“Will my stud muffin of a husband mess things up down there?”

Well I got to go be productive. Grandma s in town and I know she’ll want to come over this morning.

I’ll leave you with a few pics!

(((((HUGS)))))

Hubby built out the closet for nursery.

I think the plaque turned out pretty good.

Still have to finish the diaper changing station.

Hanging out in the back yard. Hubby had to help me up.

Standing in my herb garden. You can see some of my rosemary.

Where have I been!?!

2009-04-15T07:12:00.000-07:00

Not sure really. I think I've been in a blog funk. I've been reading blogs, just not posting. Shame, shame I know.

Wednesday was my last day at the office. The boss man decided he was tired of hearing me complain. Not really. He’s my FIL too and he knew I needed the time to work on my web business. The web business has been keeping me pretty busy. I haven’t launched it yet, but I’m getting closer. It’s been a real learning experience for me, in a good way. I really like having something I’ve created come to life.

Speaking of creations coming to life. I hit the 9mo mark this past Saturday. What a ride this has been. I had a pretty normal pregnancy considering all the sh*t I went through to get here. NO COMPLAINTS! These last few weeks though feel like they're going to take 4-ever. It’s like time itself has stopped

Sleeping is more like torture. I feel like I need a crane to lift me in and out of bed. Sleeping on either side sucks after a couple of hours. I wake up hurting in my legs or back. If that doesn’t wake me up he does at 3am like clock work. It’s kinda cute really. He uses his feet and kicks me in the side. “Hey Mom lets get up and walk around.” This morning I thought hubby was poking me in the arm. When I realized it wasn’t him it brought a smile to face. Little man was awake and ready to get up.

Yep it was 3 o’clock.

Braxton hicks contractions. At first I wasn’t sure I was having them. Now they’ve gotten a little stronger I can tell. My stomach gets really hard and I feel like my blood pressure has dropped. Not to where I’m light headed though. Mostly I have them when I’ve been walking around.

I had a check up, really a check down there, appointment today. BP is good, Iron is good, and cervix has thinned by half and no dilation. This was the 1st stur-up check I’ve had since the 1st trimester. I have to say I didn’t miss them. From here on out it’s all about the V with weekly visits.

Now a few pics of the 2 showers I had last month.

Cute Diaper cake the neighbor made.

Mom, Me and My 16 yr old sister.

Me with the perma-grin!

One of 2 diaper bags I got.

Hubby is way off the "how big is momy" game.

Hubby's G-ma, Me & MIL.

The guys hanging out in the garage drinking and cooking on the smoker.

Hubby checking out all the goodies.

I know.....

2009-03-17T06:40:00.000-07:00

I'm suppose to be posting pics of the Baby Shower. Which was a ball! But I've got something even better.

3D Ultrasound Pictures!!!

The tech had it real easy. I drank a glass of sweet tea before the appointment. He was moving all around for her. She was able to capture about 70 pictures.

My Hubby, Mom, brother, sister, MIL & FIL were all there watching the u/s on a big wall where the pics were being projected.

I still can't believe this little guy is growing inside me. I fully expected to see big buggy eyes and antenna's.

According to the measurements he's measureing 11 days ahead and weights 4lbs 11oz.

We still have 8 1/2 wks to go at 1/2lb a week. Does this mean a 9lb baby??????

I have a Doc appt. tomorrow. I think this will be a question I bring up. "Do you think THAT can come out of THIS?"

For some reason the post added more room to type than need. So to leave a comment you have to scroll down.

1st Baby Shower Tomorrow

2009-03-13T06:56:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow can't come soon enough.

I can hardly contain myself.

My day has finally come!

I'll be the glowing pregnant woman.

As a bonus my Mom is making 3 chocolate cakes.

I believe one will be going straight to my house.

Don't fall out of your chair!

2009-02-25T07:52:00.000-08:00

Yes, it’s been awhile since my last post.

Where the heck has February gone? I remember something about Valentines and candy. Other than that not sure what happened.

I’ve been diligently working on my ecommerce site. It might be easier if I knew what I was doing, but it’s coming along. And I got all the crap you need, government wise, to run the business. I hope to have it running by April!?!

Between spending all my awake hours working on the site and not getting enough sleep. Time has just seemed to have passed by me.

We did manage to get the nursery together. There’s still the final touches, but the big stuff is done. Hubby has spent the past two weekends building out the closet. He designed and made an awesome organizer for the closet. It’s finally all installed and looks great.

I think I’ll what until after my 1st baby shower next weekend to post room pics. Hopefully I’ll get some of the cute stuff I registered for and can show it off at the same time.

Not to complain, but being 7 ½ months pregnant sucks! I guess I had in my head pregnancy was easy cheesy. WRONG! I can’t sleep worth a darn, can’t sit or stand for long periods of time, can’t eat very much at one time and forget about S.E.X. Oh and clothes; I don’t even want to go there.

Now the good stuff. He moves (punches) all the time and gets the hiccups at least once a day. On my last check up I had the Doc. feel to see if he was head up or down. Just as I suspected he is head down. Hence the need to pee ALL the time. He’s little feet hang out on my ribs and is head, well you can just imagine.

My MIL, hubby and I went for the hospital tour this morning. What a beautiful place and it’s not even a year old yet. Best of all it’s only 7 miles from my house. The birthing and labor room was awesome and scary at the same time. It was so big we could fit the whole family in there. On second thought maybe not. And yes we saw lost of babies’ in the nursery. Hubby was a little freaked out as to how small they were. We even got to see a poopy diaper change.

I was relieved when most of the things the tour guide covered I had already done. Like scheduling the birthing and breastfeeding classes. She even said she’d throw in a free baby essentials class. The only thing I still need to sign up for is the CPR class. Funny how out of all the classes, breastfeeding is the one I most anxious about.

I just hope the ole’ fun bags can handle all the attention.

I do have a few pics to share of the nursery décor.

This a plaque that hubby made and I hand painted. It wasn't hanging at the time, but it now hangs in the middle of the stripe.

I decided to make the wall art, because I'm cheap and crafty.

The 5 little pictures, ribbon and knobs cost less the $15. I really loved making them.

Sometimes I just go in there a sit in the rocker and look around. I can't wait until the rest of the decor is up.

Still hanging on

2009-01-28T16:51:00.000-08:00

This month has come and is quickly going. A lot is going on, but at the same time I feel like I’m getting nowhere.

We’ve shut down part of our business letting go of 5 people. Leaving just the 4 of us – FIL, MIL, hubby and I. Yesterday the for sale sign went up. How sad :(

Tons of ideas have bounced around on what type of business we should try. The latest is a micro brewery. Sounds kinda funny when I say it out loud, but it’s something we’re looking into.

My online venture business is still in the works. I’ve reserved 2 web domains and contacted a vendor for my products. Other that I’ve been researching host for the website and business licenses. I’ll take any suggestions if anyone has dealt with a web hosting company.

Now onto the good stuff.

Hubby got the walls all painted in the nursery and the crib has been assembled. He still has to put up the crown and base board. Hopefully this weekend he can get it done.

Here’s a few shots of the work in progress.

Now something I’m sure you could have lived without today.

24 Weeks Belly Shots!

The registery is coming along. Hubby and I have spent about 5 hours total in BRU looking at things and scanning. Then I come home and read reveiws online and delete things that don't make the cut . One thing that I'm not deleting is the B.abysense V - Infant Movement Monitor.

An infant movement monitor features sensitive sensor pads that, when placed under the baby's mattress, constantly monitor the baby's slightest movements and motions. Registered by the high speed microprocessor, any movement triggers the flash of a green light. If movement stops for 20 seconds or if the monitor detects less then 10 micro-movements per minute, an alarm sounds, and a parent or caretaker will be able to come to the aid of the sleeping baby.

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2660328

In addtion the sensor I registered for the S.ummer Infant Day and Night Handheld Color Video Monitor.

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2265802

At first I'm going to use the B.abysense in the P.lay-Yard by my bed. The PY I picked out has a changing table attached with a diaper caddy.

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3012718

Everyday I grow more in love with this little guy. He likes to give me kicks in the morning to get me out of bed. He knows right where my bladder is located. I’m getting to where I can visualize him in the house. Nothing to the point to where he has a face, just he presences. Sometimes I wish he was here already, but then I remember I like my sleep. I can wait a few more months.

What a week!

2009-01-14T11:40:00.000-08:00

This past week hasn’t been too much fun. Our family business of 15 years has to make major changes for this new economy. So major we’re working to close and reopen with something new all together. We’ve spent everyday and night researching the proposed new business. In addition to that. I’ve been looking into creating an online business, so I can stay home and take of the baby.

Can we say STRESSED-OUT anyone.

Baby showers. My mother and mother-n-law are giving me separate showers in March. So I’ve been trying to research and learn about the things I’ll need and want. You would think finding a car seat and stroller would be easy. Holly crap batman there are too many to pick from. I spent 2 hours at BRU this weekend, by myself, looking at car seats and strollers. I did get a better feel for them, but still not sure. My goal is to have the registries done by mid February.

My criteria for a stroller and car seat:

1) Safe (does anyone know of a GOOD site for safety rating info. on car seats)
2) Not too big and heavy (I have a medium sized car with a hatch back. 2004 Infinity FX35)
3) Rear to front facing car seat.
4) Stroller that will hold up to 50lbs.
5) Easy to close stroller.
6) Easy to clean
7) Not more than $400 for the both of them.

I’m leaning to the G.raco line, but still keeping an opened mind to others. I’m hoping to have my choice made soon so I can move onto other things.

Baby room. With all that has been going on we haven’t had the time to work on the nursery. Our plan is to work on it this weekend. I can’t wait to arrange the furniture and fill the drawers with little people clothes. And yes I’ll post some pics ASAP.

Baby bump. Had my 23wk check up today and all is good. I’m getting up the on scale and my belly measures 26 inches. I met with the mid-wife this time and really liked her. She had a little bit of a challenge finding his heartbeat because he was moving around so much. We did get to hear it for a minute.

At my next appointment I have to do the Glucose test. I chose fruit punch for my glu-cola. The mid-wife also gave me a packet for the hospital with all the poop. (Poop is a technical term) It has a check list and one of the items is scheduling a tour with them 6-8 wks before your delivery date. I went ahead and reserved 3 spots for myself, hubby and MIL on March 7th. With every thing going on I didn’t want to forget to do it. Plus I can check if off my list.

I’m trying really hard to balance work with what’s really the most important thing on my mind. It gets a little overwhelming and I have to stop and collect my thoughts. Sometimes the thoughts never come, but the break helps.

Here I come 2009!!

2009-01-06T11:02:00.000-08:00

I hope all you ladies had a smashing holiday

Two weeks off from work to do NOTHING. It was just what I needed.

I got a couple of gifts worth mentioning.

1) Snoogle pillow thing – It works great. I would definitely recommend it.
2) Wii – That’s pretty much all we did.
3) Maternity clothes – Couldn’t have come sooner.
4) A locket- To put the babies’ picture in.

I forgot to mention my birthday is on Christmas day. So for it I got…..

1) Laptop – It’s used, but it gets the job done.
2) Slip on tennis shoes- They’re really cute black shoes with pink scroll work.

And one last BIG item….baby furniture from B.R.U!

Hubby picked it up today. I’m at work and can’t wait to go home to see it in the room.
We spent last weekend painting and it looks great. Only one problem. We’ve had some really good rains the past couple of days and the room is leaking. WTF I know! The house is only 6yrs old. I guess hubby is going in the attic tonight.

I do plan on posting pics of the room ASAP.

As for the bump we’re doing well. I can’t believe how big I’ve gotten in the past month. I’m sure the birthday cake didn’t help - which is still in the frig. The baby is moving on a regular basis. Every time I eat or get up to pee he’s jucking and jiving. Oh but my back. I’ve had a pitched nerve for 3 days and can barley walk at times. I didn’t even bother to get of bed this morning. Hubby went in for me then I can in later with pillow and heating pad in tow.

Keep checking back with me I need opinions on stuff for the registry. I’ve sent hours looking at different things trying to narrow down my choices. I do plan on visiting the stores to register, but I’m trying not to be overwhelmed. Shit this isn’t going to be easy.

Reflection

2008-12-24T05:24:00.000-08:00

When I started this blog I wasn't sure how it was going to help me. But I dove in and met some wonderful people. We’ve been there for each others ups and downs. When I look back it amazes me how much time has past and all the struggles that went with it. In the being it felt like I would never make. I couldn’t see the end. Now that I’m on the “other side” I won’t change a thing.

I don’t believe my path was chosen for me, but I know this is the path I was supposed to take. Like someone once said “Life’s like a box of chocolates you never know what your going to get.” I like to add “All chocolate is good, but it may not be the one you wanted that day.”

I hope you all find what your looking for, but until then just keep eating the chocolate.

Love to all and Merry Christmas.

Julia

Fat and happy!

2008-12-19T07:00:00.000-08:00

I had my u/s appt. this past Wednesday. The u/s lady seemed a little put out when I told her I was 18ws. She said normally they do this u/s sound around 20wks. Oh well, I didn't schedule it the Doc did.

She didn't have any problems getting in there and seeing my little pumpkin. Everything seemed to be in order. He has all his fingers and toes. We got a few pics, but they really didn't turn out very good. He was moving around so much. I guess the OJ and oatmeal I had for breakfast had him going.

The Doc didn't spend much time with us. He just asked how I was doing and gave me the run down for the next couple of months. He also said that was the last u/s I'd be getting unless there was a problem.

I was a little sad about that, but I'll take that over having any problems.

Fa la la la....I got to get myself together!

2008-12-12T06:49:00.000-08:00

This is the BIG shopping weekend for me!!!!!! I've got to get some stuff under the tree. I also have family coming into town next week. Christmas has come along so quick. I guess the baby stuff combined with the economy and the election has made me loose track of time.

Hubby’s out of town, so tonight I’m meeting some long time friends for dinner. Tomorrow I'm getting up a 6am and heading for the shops. Please help lord.

Later in the day a good friend of hubby’s is coming over to show me how to knit. She is bringing a pattern for a baby hat. I thought I would start out with something easy. We’ll see.

Sunday I plan on going food shopping and stocking up. I don’t want to have to go out during the holiday break. I have a week off work and I plan on being a hermit crab.

I hope you all have a great weekend.

Side Note: the baby keeps kicking me. I wonder what he wants. Ice cream maybe?

Thump..thump..thump...

2008-12-10T10:16:00.000-08:00

The past couple of days I have been feeling the baby moving around. Yesterday he moved all day. When I got home I layed down on the couch and pulled up my shirt. Sure enough I could see my stomach moving. Wow, was it cool!!!! Hubby even got to see the bump roll.

I can't wait for my u/s next week.

"O'Christmas Tree"

2008-12-08T16:57:00.000-08:00

My house looks like a crazy elf tried to decorate it. It’s like Christmas threw up all over the place.

On Saturday I got the lights put up outside, and Sunday we tackled the tree. The rest of the decorations are stacked up in front of my treadmill, so you know that’s a priority.

I just can’t hang like I used to. This pregnancy stuff wipes me out.

I did get my Christmas letter done and mailed out. Even included this lovely snap shot of Hub and I.

You should have seen us. Camera on the 10 second timer and mounted to a tripod. I stayed by the tree while hubby ran back and forth from the camera.

Hey Ya'll

2008-12-02T11:47:00.000-08:00

I won’t bore you guys with the details of my turkey weekend, but I will tell you I had a great time. Nothing like eating too much and having heartburn from hell. Not to mention the leftovers.

We did manage to get away for a couple of days.

To my husbands hunting camp.

Don’t get me wrong. I love campfires and drunk people. I also love taking showers. Going 3 days without a shower was not on my list of fun things. Hubby just wanted to spend time with me. Hairy legs and all.

I’m thinking about changing Docs. My husband is up for it, but I’m just too lazy to find another one. I’ve been asking around to fellow mommies and everyone LOVES their Doc. Kinda pisses me off that I don’t even like mine. So I guess I’ll be making a few phones this week to other Doc offices.

On the bump front. I’ve posted my 4mo belly shots.

I think I look bigger than 4mos.

Ignore the red eyes.

Gobble, gobble

2008-11-26T05:30:00.000-08:00

Wow, Thanksgiving is here already. It’s just creped up on me with all this baby making stuff.

Last year we hosted our first holiday dinner with family. Everyone really enjoyed themselves. I’m sure the wine helped. So this year everyone wanted to do it again. It sounded good a month ago, but who the hell is going to clean my house, shop for the food, cook the food and clean up. I guess that would be me. Well hubby does most of the cooking.

This year we’re kicking it up a notch. Both my parents AND hubby parents will be attending. We’ll have about 11 people total. NO WINE FOR ME!

As for food will have it all. Two turkeys, one fried and one baked, honey baked ham, stuffing, green bean casserole, scalloped corn, cranberry sauce, mash potatoes, bread and of course PIE!

I do love the holidays and look forward to them every year, but this year I’ve been really emotional about them. I’ll hear something on the radio or see a commercial and I start to tear up. I hope I don’t break down at the dinner table. I’m not a pretty crier.

If I have any energy left and I can talk hubby into getting the Christmas decorations down. I’ll try to do a little decorating. Tis the season.

Update on Blood Lady

2008-11-21T08:25:00.000-08:00

I just got a call from the doctors office saying the blood congaeled. Yep, I have to see her again next week. Don't think I don't a few choice words for her.

Oh baby

2008-11-20T06:38:00.000-08:00

Just got back from visiting my cousins and their new baby boys in Virginia Beach. The babies were 6wks apart, but they looked about the same size. I spent so much time holding them I only got to take 3 pictures. It really was a joy, but boy were my arms sore. I’m going to have to start pumping iron.

Had a 3mo check up yesterday and everything’s on track. The NT test came back good. I wasn’t sure what to expect on this visit. They weighed me checked my blood pressure and we got to hear the baby’s heart beat (which was 150).

I did have to have some blood drawn for the 2nd part of the NT test, checking for spinal bifida.

Let me tell you about it……

I don’t mind anymore about giving blood. Actually I an expert at it. So I go in and the lady wants to take it from my left arm. I proceed to tell her that 2wks ago that vein collapsed and she may want to use the other arm. Apparently it was going to be too much trouble, so she goes ahead with the left arm. Low and behold it’s moving slower than molasses. I then explain to her that I did IVF and they took blood from me a lot, as much as everyday.

So here’s what she said….

We’ll call her BL for blood lady.

BL: “Oh you mean invitro fertilization?”

Me: “Yes, I had to do it twice.”

BL: “I heard on the RADIO that babies born from IVF have birth defects.”

Me: (WTF!!!!!)” Uh”

BL: “Yeah, they have heart problems and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH……….”

Me: “Well I sure hope not, because the baby I’m caring is from IVF. I personal know several people who perfectlt healthy, normal children from IVF.” (BITCH!!!!)

BL: “Well I heard it on the radio.”

(keep in mind she still had the needle in my arm. It took over 4mins to fill half the vile)

Me: “You know in the past if the band around my arm was removed my blood flowed faster.”

BL: (nothing, just a dumb ass look on her face)

Me: (wanting to stab her in the eye with the needle)

BL: “Looks like that’s all were going to get. Hope it’s enough.”

Me: “Well I guess next time I’ll insist they take it from the other arm.” (like I did before)

Now I’m in the car telling hubby who is very pissed off and wants me to change doctors.

See this wasn’t the only issue we’ve had with this doctor’s office. The main one was the doctor never acknowledged or spoke directly to hubby when he was there. So that’s all he needed to push him over the edge.

After fuming over it for most of the morning I decided to call and complain.

I spoke to the head nurse, whom I’ve never meet, and told her my experience there was far from pleasurable. I then went into detail about what the BL said. She told me the BL works for the lab not the doc. office and that she would speak to the BL supervisor. Then I went into how no one ever introduced themselves to me and the doctor never acknowledges my husband.

She apologized for both and said she would discuss it with the other nurses and staff to remember to be more curtsies. (remember?) Then she explained that the Doc is always like that and other people have changed physicians because of that.

Me: “That’s no excuse I own a business and if someone wasn’t happy with something I would want to know and address it”

Nurse: “Well I’m not sure how to go about telling him”

Me: “Then I’ll tell him”

Nurse: “That might get his attention”

Me: “I don’t want to have to change doctors”

Nurse: “Sometimes the husbands are to over bearing and we have to ask them to let the patient talk. I guess he’s just used to talking to the women directly.”

Me: “All he needs to do is shake the mans hand”

Nurse: “Hopefully your next appt. will be better.”

Me: “I hope so too”

I did tell her I didn’t want a bad experience. This is my first and maybe only child and damned if I'm not going to love every minute.

Finally a post

2008-11-10T12:53:00.001-08:00

Ok, so it’s not tomorrow. Friday was hectic.

Every year I volunteer to help with a car show and this weekend was the show. This was our 9th year and our best turn out of 109 cars registered. All the proceeds go to the local food co-op. Between the registration fee, raffles and 50/50 we raised a little over $3,000. Not to bad considering the economy. Needless to say I spent Sunday vegging on the couch.

As promised here are my 3mo. belly pictures. These are the first, before now I was afraid of jinxing the pregnancy.

Stupid I know.

Yes, I’m showing some flesh and notice the prego pants. Got them at Be.lks.

And now the latest in u/s pics. Last week I had the NTT done. Boy was that fun……NOT. The nurse tried to push the u/s wand through my belly to my back. She kept saying “relax your stomach”. RELAX you squishing my baby. All I can say is good thing I didn’t have gas.

As you can see Pumpkin is very cute and photogenic. The nurse had a hard time measuring, because P’kin kept moving around. Can’t sit still just like it's mother

And now lets see if you can guess my surprise...........You have to look very close.

Some of you may know what your looking at, but for those of you who don't I'll explain.

The picture is of the babys bottom and it's legs are sticking up. So if you look real close what 3 things can you see between the legs.

Thats right!!! The family jewels, frank and beans, man bits.......you get my drift.

It's a BOY!!!!

I'm a loser baby.......

2008-11-06T06:22:00.001-08:00

I haven’t been posting because I’m so busy at work and dog tired when I get home. If I had post it probably would have been a bunch of babble.

I promise I’ll post a 3mo pic update along u/s pics and a special secret tomorrow.

Peace.

Where do I begin?

2008-10-29T09:54:00.000-07:00

This weekend I decided it was OK to go to the Maternity store. I know what you’re thinking. You’re only 3mo! Well I like to be comfortable in my clothes. So there we were amongst the bellies and all their glory.

I strolled around looking at the stuff not sure where to start. What I really wanted was a pair of jeans and a shirt that long enough to cover the zipper. The sales lady gave me a couple of things to try on that might work. I get into the dressing room and immediately see a strap on belly. All seriousness was lost. I was freaking out looking at myself with this BIG belly. Hubby couldn’t quit looking at it. Eventually I did find a pair I liked along with a burgundy long sleeve knit top. $60 later.

Monday morning I was so excited to show off my new digs. I had even washed and ironed them the night before. So I get to work and I’m carrying in several things that have my hands full. The closer I get the door the further my pants are sliding down my butt. By the time I got to the door I looked like a homey. What the HELL the elastic band was not doing its job! The band is one that you can roll down or up depending on how far along you are. Apparently I’m not far along enough.

I spent the whole day pulling the damn things up. So after work I went home and dug the tags out of the trash and fought the evening traffic. I tried on every pair they had and walked to check for homeyness. In the end I decided to can the jean idea and got a pair of slacks and another shirt. Spending $15 more.

One thing that the sales lady said that got me was “tight is in”. Now why in the hell would a pregnant woman want anything tight? I know I don’t.

Oh well what do I know.

**********************************************************************

Pregnancy stuff update:

Finished suppositories on Sunday. Well I was done taking them. I’ve had a lot more energy ever since.

Stood in line yesterday to vote early ……for 2 1/2hrs. It was a bit chilly at times. I brought a chair to sit in, but had a hard time using it. I was next to a lady carrying at 41weeks. She’s being induced today. I really should have sat down some. When I got home I was spotting a little. Lesson learned.

Next appt. Nov. 5th.

One word is hard!

2008-10-24T10:05:00.000-07:00

Tagged by http://nutchell.blogspot.com/. This one kinda makes ya think.

Side note: Make sure you scroll down to see Pumpkins 10w 2d u/s pic.

The way this works, is I answer the following questions with single word responses, and pass the award on to 7 other bloggers

1. Where is your cell phone? pocket
2. Where is your significant other? work
3. Your hair color? blonde
4. Your mother? talkative
5. Your father? quite
6. Your favorite thing? outside
7. Your dream last night? baby
8. Your dream/goal? grandparent
9. The room your in? office
10. Your hobby? family
11. Your fear? unhappiness
12. Where do you want to be in six years? settled
13. Where were you last night? home
14. What you’re not? unhappy
15. One of your wish list items? healthy
16. Where you grew up? GA
17. The last thing you did? talked
18. What are you wearing? jeans
19. Your T.V.? expensive
20. Your pets? messy
21. Your computer? share
22. Your mood? chill
23. Missing someone? yes
24. Your car? paid
25. Something you’re not wearing? hat
26. Favorite store? plato’s
27. Your Summer? FET
28. Love someone? husband
29. Your favorite color? green
30. When is the last time you laughed? today
31. Last time you cried? IVF

You can see Pumpkins little arm and legs buds. During the u/s P'kin was waving it's arm around. It was so cool!

If ya want I tag: Baby Quest, Pegs, Jebs, Baby and Me, Kymberli, Lisa & Merlot

10w 2d

2008-10-20T12:03:00.000-07:00

It was a pretty nice weekend weather wise and health wise.

Saturday my in-laws had a Chili Cook off with about 10 couples. There were 2 prizes given out-1 for best chili and 1 for best presentation. We won best chili!!!! We got a trophy and a $75 gift certificate to a wonderful steak house that our friend owns. We came in 2nd on presentation. It was “PURR-fect Chili” displayed in a litter box with a pooper scooper to boot. Another specail surpise was a friend of the family gave me a cute snuggly blanket. Pumpkin's first gift.

Sunday was grocery shopping, cleaning and reading day. The neighbor had a fall festival at the playground with a couple of bounce things and a hay ride. I went and checked it out for a few. Pretty lame.

Today was my first OB visit!! I got the works. The Doc is nice; he kinda talks a little fast. I think I understood most of what he said. He did a quick u/s which was nice. Little Pumpkin was so cute punching its little arm around. The Doc didn’t do any measurements, but from what I can tell from the u/s Pumpkin is around 3.5cm.

I was really nervous going in to my appt. today. It’s only been 2wks since I’ve last seen Pumpkin, but I was afraid something had happen. I’ve been spotting for a couple of days now. Not heavy, but enough to concern me. The Doc. said everything looked good down there and not to worry. Ha! Easier said than done buddy.

My next appt. is Nov. 5th for a special u/s to see if the baby has any signs of Downs. Great something else to worry about for 2wks. But hey I get another u/s. I even have an appt. for the next one on Nov. 19th. After that I think it will be once a month for a while.

As a welcoming/congrats gift I got a nice diaper bag with lots of stuff for me an the baby. I don't think the bag is going to be bg enough to use, but I told E it could be his for when he takes Pumpkin out.

Other than that I’ve been sick on and off, but mostly just really tired.

Tagged and keeping my promise

2008-10-14T03:08:00.000-07:00

http://questbaby.blogspot.com/ tagged me the other day.

Rules: Post the 4th photo from the 4th folder included in the "My Pictures" folder on my computer and write about it.

So here it is ………Last years Octoberfest in Helen, Georgia. For those of you not familiar with Octoberfest. It is basically a beer drinking fest. We started out in the Festhalle with a pitcher of beer and a couple of wiener schnitzel. As we ate and drank we were entertained by the live Germen band. The crowd signing and dancing to all the songs. Most of the women wearing the traditional Bavarian Dirndl dresses and the men in their Lederhosens.

After lunch we walked around town and hit a few of the Pubs. The walking turned into stumbling, mostly on my part. My favorite part was the musicians set up on the sidewalks playing all types of tunes. There are all kinds of candy shop’s too. Some making their own fudge. Yum.

To round out the day we returned to the Festhalle for more dancing, music and of course beer. Funs times had by all.

My Lil' Pumpkin

2008-10-08T04:20:00.000-07:00

Well, all my worry was for not. My Lil' Pumpkin is growing right on schedule. Measuring 1.78cm (about 3/4") at 8wks 2days and I was 8wks 3days. We got to hear the heartbeat this time!! What a rush. It just took me back when I heard it...thump..thump..thump.

I have 2 pretty good pics, so I decided to post them. Keep in mind you have to have a little imagination.

This is a front view showing the arm and leg buds. The round thing to the left is the yoke sac.

This one is a side view with the head facing down.

**********************************************************************

Our anniversary was nice too. Hubby had cut some flowers from our rose garden. He added a few sprigs from the butterfly bush.

They still smell lovely!

For dinner .....filet mignon cut up into chunks with a mushroom sauce, asparagus w/ hollandaise sauce and gnocchi in a alfredo cream sauce. And for desert chocolate cake! It was gone before I could snap a shot.

Hello

2008-10-06T12:51:00.000-07:00

Not feeling so good right now. I guess thats good news.

I'll update more tomorrow after the u/s. Just wanted to check in for now.

Not much going on

2008-10-03T11:36:00.000-07:00

Just trying to make it to work without loosing my breakfast or making it home without having to pull over. I‘ve had some good moments, but most of the day is spent with a lump in my throat.

On the mental note, I’m hanging in there. I really haven’t gone overboard with excitement. I think deep down inside I’m afraid to be too happy. Hopefully this next u/s on Tuesday will help reassure me.

The reality hasn’t quite set in yet. I have to keep reminding myself that this isn’t a dream. I have a growing baby in my belly and it’s starting to show. Right now. I’m sitting at desk with my pants unbuttoned. Classy!

Hubby wants to start taking pics of my growing belly. Not that I’m opposed to it, but I don’t want to jinx anything. Hubby thinks I’m being silly. He’s just so excited he can’t stand it.

He had to go to B.abies R U.s the other day just to look. So we went and looked at ALL the baby stuff. One of these, one of those. I did feel like a little out of place. Kinda like an impostor. I didn’t feel pregnant enough. Dumb I know.

He’s also started reading baby books. Good I know, but he keeps asking me things that are after the baby is born. Like, “are we going to have a cooling off period before we let friends and family start coming over?” Or “is the baby going to sleep in our room at first?”

These are all great questions. I just want to get to the 3 months mark. That’s all I want to focus on. When that time comes I’ll focus on the next set. Until then I can’t let myself think that far ahead. I’m already driving myself crazy with all the worry.

********************************

There’s not much in other news. My two guys cousins from VA. gave me a surprise visit Wednesday night.

Ring….ring

Me: Hello
Cuz: Hey, what cha doin?
Me: Working. What’s going on with you
Cuz: What cha doin tonite?
Me: Why, are you in town?
Cuz: Maybe
Me: How far away are you
Cuz: about 2hrs
Me: Which town are you in?
Cuz: East Bumble F***
Me: Nice. Where cooking Mexican. You can crash at my house.
Cuz: Sounds great Bro and I will be there soon
Me: Cool both of ya!

They do this to me every once in awhile. They travel a lot for work and when their in town they crash my house without much warning. Their great though, their like the Smith brothers.

They left this morning so I can go home and have a much needed nap after work. Hubby’s going to play with his Dad for the next two days, so I’ll have a lot of spare nap time.

We’ll enough about my exiting life. Hope you all have a blessed weekend.

Whats up?

2008-09-29T12:42:00.001-07:00

Things have been going ok. I had my last PIO shot the other night. I don’t think I could have taken much more. They started me on Progesterone suppositories twice a day. Fun…I think not, but I’ll take it over the BUTT shot any day.

Oct. 7th is our 8th anniversary and my last RE visit. Dr. K will do one more u/s and send me on my way. I’ve already made an appointment w/ an OB for Oct. 20th. Not sure if I’ll get another u/s or not. I really hope we do. The more the better. Plus the insurance will pick this one up.

My regular OB-GYN doesn’t deliver babies anymore, so I decided to choose a practice that is closer to my home. The hospital that is about 15 mins away from my house opened a women’s clinic in August. So I chose a doctor that has their practice at the hospital. My work is even closer. It will make the doctor visits, hopefully, stress free.

It’s been up and down on the wellness front. Most mornings I wake up feeling pretty good and by the afternoon not so good. This morning I felt like pooh and have been that way all day. I haven’t tossed my cookies yet, but have come close many times. I have also been tired as all get out everyday. Oh and the back pain. I thought it would be awhile before that would kick in. Maybe it’s my posture; I haven’t been holding my stomach in anymore.

Pregnancy……free reign for the muffin top!

I hope to post more often. My work schedule has changed and by the time I get home I’m bet. In the mean time I look forward to and check your post everyday.

Here it goes

2008-09-23T10:25:00.000-07:00

I had THE u/s sound today. It appears I have a little bean growing inside me. It measures 3.3mm and we got to see the heartbeat.

I did get a couple of pics, but you really can't tell much.

I can't tell you how relieved I am.

Thank you everyone for your words of support.

This is really happening!!!

2008-09-18T09:52:00.000-07:00

Just got my results back.

Beta 9517

This would explain why I feel really sick rigth now. For the past week I've been starving, but nothing sounds good. I eat then I want to throw it back up, but I haven't tossed my cookies yet.

My u/s is sometime next week. Hubby said he's coming not matter what. He wants to see his little bean/s.

All I can say is holy cow!!! Thats what I'm starting to feel like too.

The meds have really plumped me up. I tried on a couple of my favorite jeans and they are all tight in the waist. Thank God for elastic waist bands.

Boobs...they really hurt. Hubby keeps saying "They look bigger. Do they hurt? Do you need me to rub them?"

Girls you know the answer to that........HELL NO...Thank you....instead could you please get me another cookie.

Well, got to go for now. Work thing. It always gets in the way.

Pinch Me!!!

2008-09-12T05:56:00.000-07:00

I’m still a little stupefied by my test results. I fully expected to get a negative test due to the spotting.

Hubby has been out of town all week. He went on a hunting trip with his dad. I’m happy to report he hasn’t gotten anything. He told me all he can think about is the pregnancy. Thinking of baby names when he should be watching for game.

I’ve had to run the family business since they’ve been gone. What a week! Monday was a bitch. I had this dark cloud over me the first half of the day and a rainbow the last half. My MIL has been here to help with the phones and faxes. She has been a big help.

Here’s a summary of how the call went when Dr. K called w/ the results. Keep in mind he has an accent.

Me: OMG the Doc office is calling……Hello.

Dr.K: Julia I’m calling w/ your results…....(what seemed like a 4-ever pause)…..your pregnant.

Me: You’re shitting me!!!!

Dr. K : I wouldn’t kid you.

Me: I’m going to throw up!

Dr. K : Don’t throw up. Come in Thursday for a 2nd test.

Me: OK!

My 2nd beta levels were 632.8. I’m to come in for a 3rd test next Thursday and my U/S is the following week.

It’s almost been a week and it still hasn’t hit me yet. I feel like it’s all a dream. Someone pinch me.

Ok, now I have a question.

When do I start counting the pregnancy?

I asked the nurse yesterday and she just confused me.

I had the transfer Aug. 28 when the embryos were 8 days old. Three days before the freeze and 5 days after. Yesterday made them 3wks old. She told me this Saturday would make me 5wks.

I’ve only had them for 2wks!?

Why do they add 2wks? We know the moment I conceived.

She told me my due date would be May 17th. Crazy!!

I don’t know anything about this shit. I guess I’ll have it when I have it. Or it could be them.

Bun in the oven!!!

2008-09-08T09:48:00.000-07:00

Holy heck I'm pregnant!!!!!!

LH 239

Sorry

2008-09-05T06:55:00.000-07:00

I lost it the other day.

I'm feeling a little better today. The spotting stopped the same day. I'm just trying to make till Monday.

Taking it day by day.

Thanks for all your comments of support. It really helps.

******************

I guess I spoke to soon. I started spotting again today. Very light. I called the nurse again. She said don't loose hope.

I have no comment for that.

Well F**k!!!!

2008-09-03T12:47:00.000-07:00

WARNING THIS POST HAS LOTS OF BAD WORDS.

The same shit that happened last time is happening again. This morning when I used the bathroom I had a spot of RED blood on the tissue. FUCK!!!!! It was a small spot, but it was a spot. The rest of the day I've had translucent brown spotting. I had some cramping for the past couple of days, but I think its the progetorone. I don't feel menstrual. Pissed off maybe.

I called the nurse right away. Like last time she said not to worry and to call her if it gets worse. FUCK!!!!!

How am I going to get make it until Monday. Thats when I have my beta test. I can't look forward to it anymore. Fuckity..fuck...fuck!!!!!!

I don't have to tell you how frustrated I am, but damn if i can't get a fucking brake!!!

I wish I could think of a better way to release my anger.........I'm scared and pissed.

*@#!!!***&&##@@@!!!

Emotional

2008-08-29T07:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the big day.

We arrived on time and were promptly seen. Unlike last time with a 1 ½ wait.

I knew the drill so I got right to it. A few minutes later the embryologist came in and gave the breakdown of our 5 thawed embryos.

2 – Full blastocyst
1 – Almost at full blastocyst
2 – Not cutting the mustard

So from that we transferred only two. The others will be monitored for another day. If any are viable they will be refroze.

The embryologist kept apologizing about the 2 he picked last time.
Saying you just never know for sure. That’s why we went for full blastocyst this time. These are the best they can be. (All this with a very thick accent)

Dr. K arrived and got right into position without missing a beat. He sticks some stuff in to open her up. There they both stood looking down at my glory hole. The embryologist leaves to get the magic tool loaded. When he returns he announces ….Embryos arriving!!!

As a nervous reaction I repeated it like I was announcing the Queen of England. This got a giggle out of the U/S lady.

In goes the magic tool….Dr. K making small talk and me being blinded by his head lamp.

So how do you feel about having twins? He says as he’s unloading the embryos.

Good, my husband I were the only children. Sharing is hard for us sometimes. Another giggle from U/S lady.

BAM…10 mins later I was knocked up and on the elevator. Pic of embryos in hand.

The car was parked a mile away, so I let hubby run a get it. Don't want to lose these guys in the parking lot.

So here I am taking it easy….trying at least. I did unload the dishwasher.

Now for the (insert curse words here) 2ww!

I've been really emotional and I'm not one to cry at anything. I feel like I have buckets of tears waiting to spill out. It's got to be the extra hormones bring my feelings to the surface.

I'm just full of all kinds of emotions. One, is having faith that this is going to work. Something I didn't have last time.

To answer your question

2008-08-27T05:04:00.000-07:00

With the fresh cycle they froze the 8 celled embyros at 3days. Doc wanted to be more aggressive, so where going for a 5 day transfer. So far so go.

Yes, you're right bb and mtb about them being even better this time. The hope is to transfer the ones that grew the best. Crossed fingers!!!!

I'll be able to give more info after tomorrow.

Defrost

2008-08-26T09:45:00.000-07:00

My favorite nurse called me this morning, finally, with an update. Five embryos thawed and all looking perfect. Doc says we’ll transfer on Thursday sometime.

Obviously we won’t transfer all five. So what do we do with the ones that are still viable?

They refreeze them.

Something I didn’t know. Weird.

The cool thing is I’ll take Thursday and Friday off and still have a 3 day weekend to rest. Something I didn’t do last time. I was right back to work the next day.

Stupid! The Doc said it would be ok, but I really should have stayed home.

The hard part is trying not to vacuum and clean. I did pick up a couple of books today, so maybe that will keep me busy.

I think I could get use to lounging around. I could always have lipo to suck out the fat I wasn’t burning and my husband could do all the house work.

Yeah right ….wake up Julia.

Besides lipo is scary look what it did to Cher.

Still here

2008-08-25T11:57:00.001-07:00

Waiting for the Doc to call with transfer time. Trying not to be a nag, I've only called once today.

Sitting on pins and needles..................

Ring DANM IT!!!!!

The calm before the storm

2008-08-19T04:35:00.001-07:00

Sometime next week is my transfer.

I had an US on Monday and everything seems to be in order. I’m to keep the meds the same and wait for the call. I did ask the nurse what Dr. k meant by he was going to be aggressive this time.

Basically whatever’s viable they will transfer out of the 5 or 6 they thaw. She did say they were going to go for a 5 day transfer. Meaning there probably won’t be more than 3 or 4 that are viable.

Hubby is going to be out of town the last week of our 2ww. He’s going on a trip to Maine with his dad. I mentioned to him I wasn’t sure if I’d tell him the results of beta test while he was gone. He said why don’t you wait until I get back to test. Uh…NO!

Two reasons why not.

1) I don’t have what it takes to wait.

2) If I’m not pregnant I don’t want to keep taking the ass shot.

Of course I’ll tell him if it’s positive, that’s easy, but why ruin his trip if it’s not.

Speaking of the ass shot. I have to recruit my sister again. She’s in school but will be able to catch to bus from my house. It will be nice to have the company for the week. I didn’t really want to be alone.

************************

In rolls the emotional storm with my heart and thoughts weighting heavy. I’ve been reflecting on the path that has brought me to this point. The beginning and the end seems so far away. Being positive has gotten me this far but I’m having a hard time holding onto it. I don’t have to tell you about the never ending worry.

Moving along

2008-08-12T10:34:00.000-07:00

Saturday I started taking Estrogen orally 2x’s a day. Then it increases to 2- 3x’s a day. My headaches haven’t let up yet. Tylenol doesn’t even touch the dull ache behind my eyes. Oddly eating seems to make it go away for awhile.

Doesn’t help my ass problem.

My sister went back to school yesterday, so no more house slave. Hubby has to take that role back. If only he knew how to load the dishwasher. He did do my shot for me this morning. He had to get up early with me, which was sweet. Hopefully he can continue to do so for the next 2wks. I’ve gotten used to someone else doing the deed for me.

This Estrogen, most likely, has gotten me thinking what it would be like to have a baby in the house. The house isn’t full of fine china, but I do have a few nice things that might have to get put up for a couple of years. My living room is a bit small and not really set up for a bouncing baby, let alone twins.

Uh twins….mixed feelings about that one. We would have to move 4 sure.

Dear Uterus,

2008-08-07T09:58:00.000-07:00

This memo is to inform you of an up coming event. We don’t talk much, but can you blame us. The only time we hear from you is when AF is visiting. Putting that aside we are going to have to be a team and this BIG event happen.

We’re doing everything we can to prepare for our new arrival. We need you to do the same. One thing that would help is to send AF on vacation. She’s geeting a little old and we all could use a break. Second. If you could thicken up a bit and become a sticky place to stay. That would be great.

I know we can make this a success if we pull together. Looking forward to a great 9 months.

Yours truly,

Mind, Body and Soul

**********************************************

Pep talks always help me. So why not give it a try. My body needs to know we're all in this together.
**********************************************
FET Update
Saturday start taking estrogen orally twice a day for a week w/ baby aspirin and cut down to .05cc of lupron.

The nurse called to go over my protocol yesterday. She said something that has me puzzled. She said Dr. K wants to be more aggressive this time. So we're going to thaw out 5 to 6 embryos. What happens if there all good? They’re not going to transfer all of them! Dr. K told me before he didn't want me to end up with triplets. With IVF I only had 2 transferred. I'm not sure what to think. I guess I need to give them a call.

I can't wait until Saturday. These headaches are making me crazy!!!

Looks like I'll have my transfer either the 26th or the 28th of August. It's weird when I think about it. I haven't been dreading over this go around. It just seems strange to me that at the end of the month I could be on my way to motherhood.

Pregnancy and Estrogen

2008-08-04T04:42:00.000-07:00

OK Someone sent this to me this weekend. I thought you guys might get a kick out of it.

PREGNANCY Q&A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q : When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

'ESTROGEN ISSUES'

WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE 'ESTROGEN ISSUES'

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: ' How's my driving-call 1- 800-'.
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from 'outer space'.
8. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
9. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

It should be called LOOPY not Lupron.

2008-07-31T12:16:00.000-07:00

I don’t remember last time feeling this strange. Its day 4 and the meds are getting to me. My head feels like it’s attached to someone else. My eyes won’t focus on anything and I feel like I could sleep all day. When I talk I can’t hear myself. I know the words are coming out, but there’s no sound. When I can hear myself the words are all jumbled and they don’t make sense. I am taking twice as much than last time.

I need a button to wear that says “I’m not that blonde” or “It’s the drugs talking”. It’s hard not to just tell everyone your doped up and that’s why you sound like a jackass. I can’t wait until the headaches kick in. That’ll be ever better. I’ll look stoned from squinting my eyes from the pain. Maybe I should just wear a peace necklace and a tie dye shirt. DUDE.

It’s even taking me 20 mins just to type out this much. Thinking is another skill I have lost. The power went out last night for a couple of hours and I kept doing things that required electricity. Like flipping on light switches, trying to start laundry, turning on the TV & gods knows what else. I fell asleep at about 8:30 and woke up to everything blaring at me. The TV was cranked and all the lights were on. Not only did I miss the baseball game I wanted to watch. I couldn’t get back to sleep…..DAMN-IT!

Tonight’s going to be much better. Power or not. I’m making Chinese and we’re going to play scrabble…..DAMN-IT!

Confession: I ate two donuts today. One for each ass check. Shhhh

Two days down!

2008-07-29T09:16:00.000-07:00

Started my lupron shots Monday. So far so good. My sister is a pro at stabbing me in just the right spot. Yesterday I felt it and got a little bruise, but today was perfect. This is going to go a lot easier for me. The only problem with an FET cycle is it takes a little longer. I won’t be seeing the turkey baster until late August or early September. It’s an even trade though. With less meds, less Doc visits and less MONEY!!!

Side note:
I knew I was going to have to feed and entertain my sister while she was staying with me. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to deal with her older boyfriend that lives at the end of my neighborhood. YIKES! Good thing I have neighborhood watch.

I’m feeling much better now that I’m into this cycle. Anxiety has been playing a big roll in my life since IVF. I’m hoping to change that with a bundle of joy/s. Keeping my mind on the prize seems to be the best medicine.

Here’s an inspirational picture that I plan to use.

This dog don't hunt

2008-07-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

I'm bored! Sitting here at work about to fall asleep. It's all I can do to stay awake. I need caffeine!

Where I used to work I was always busy. Not even time to pee. I stood up all day and talked to a million people. Now. I just sit and read shit. I feel like my eyes are trying to cross. I'm soooo tired. It's been like this all week. Right after lunch my head starts to bob. Not from music, but from boredom. I started working here about 2yrs ago to help out the with family biz. In turn I thought it would help me relax and get pregnant. Then I could be a stay at home mom. At least that's what I thought.

No such luck. This dog don't hunt. In IF terms, there's no chance in hell I can get pregnant on my own. So here I am sitting waiting and trying to stay awake. Don't get me wrong. Working with my in-laws and husband has been Fun. I talking about keeping my mouth shut Fun. But as soon as I pop out a kid. I'm out of here. So to speak.

I hope ya'll are having a better day......sigh.

CRAZY...best describes this one

2008-07-23T10:48:00.000-07:00

I really don’t know what I’ve been doing the past couple of days. It seems like everything is in slow motion. Everything I do feels like it’s happening to someone else. Monday is the first day of my FET cycle. When I think about it my mind goes to this place and then my teeth become clinched. I believe I’m starting to stress.

I’ve been pretty mellow these past couple of weeks. It’s even surprised me. Now the tables are turning. Stress and anxiety are coming back home. Last time the shots went ok, but I would freeze up just before. There were a couple of times I wanted to give up. Pretty dumb I know.

This time I’ve planned to have my sister stay with me during the 2wk stabbing. She’s only 15, but she wants to be in the nursing field. So why not start practicing. I’m hoping this will help me relax and keep my mind off the daily stabbing duties.

Stress and anxiety aren’t alone. I’m scared. Last time I was cautiously happy. Now I’m cautious of being happy. Everything in my life is on “hold”. I can’t plan anything. Vacations, yoga, hanging out with friends, clothes shopping. I haven’t bought any new clothes this year. Let me tell you, my summer clothes don’t fit like they used to. No one to blame but myself on that. I do like my wine and cheese. That’s another thing I can’t do is drink!

In a nut shell. I just want to get have a couple of kids. Get gray hair and live happily ever after. Is that to much to ask?

WTF!

See I need a drink.

Can I get a drink over here!

At this point I’ll take the cheese.

POTTY JOKE

2008-07-18T11:49:00.001-07:00

A friend sent this to me today. It's a little long, but funny and so true.

To all my friends: We’ve all lived this one a time or ten!!

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of
women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your
turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is
occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the
woman leaving the stall.
You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait
has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for
the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is
handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there
was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it
around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on
the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake.
You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe
the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you
discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you
can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to
clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!'
Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday -
the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your
neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle
yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in
the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The
door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of
your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank
of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door,
dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the
floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto
the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too
well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with
every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because
YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if
you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be
utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare
bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear,
'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so
confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire
hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water
that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes.
The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you
grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged
in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and
the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum
wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously
to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic
sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and
walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the
very en d of t he line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing
from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the
paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her
warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used,
and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so
long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public
restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains
to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their
other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in
pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse
and hand you Kleenex under the door!

I have definitely been in this person shoes. Hope you got a kick out of it.

FET UPDATE: Recieved my plethora of meds today. Needles and all.

It's always nice to know your doing something right.

2008-07-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

I found this on my 15 year old sisters My.space page. Which I check regularly. Read what she posted.

so.. the names skyler i have the two most greatest friends in the world amy and chelsea ya'll are the BeSt!!!! i also have a boyfriend like no other dave is basically my whole life my sister is definitely worth mentioning she is a great person to look up to and go to when you need her, she also knows how to have a good time! she has a great life, and i hope make her proud with what i do with mine

I know the boyfriend thing is lame, but the rest is cool.

Ho Hum and a bottle of Rum

2008-07-14T06:43:00.000-07:00

I started the weekend off with a bang. Friday after work hubby and I went to our favorite watering hole. Came home made some really good rum drinks and went to the pool. Wrapped up the evening with a game of scrabble and a glass of wine. Not so perky Saturday morning, Ate breakfast went back to bed until noon. Hit the pool again then went to a 60th surprise party. It started out slow, but the cops did eventually show up. The old folks really can rock. The cop told us to turn the music down and to quite shooting off fireworks. Just as well. After dancing all night I was bet. Not even close to being perky Sunday morning. Ate breakfast, hubby went grocery shopping and I went back to bed.

After my nap I put on a roast and watched the rain. It seems like it hasn’t rained in over a month. When the rain let up E and I took our poles down to the fishing hole. The rain had cooled off the air and there were hardly any bugs. The roast smelled good by the time we got home. I let it cook a couple more hours while we watched the first season of W.eeds.

I think after this weekend I’m done drinking for awhile. It’s body over mind. My body is letting me know it today.

FET update: My meds are coming in at the end of the week. Most of them are oral and then of course the Lupron.

How time flies

2008-07-10T08:31:00.000-07:00

As you know I’m starting FET#1 at the end the of the month. I had taken a break from the prenatal vitamins, but started taking them again last night. I noticed it needed to be refilled and the expiration date is on August 2008. I’ve been taking these damn things for almost a year! This isn’t the first prescription I’ve had either. Just damn.
I got so sick the first time I started taking them. The memory of the pain is still with me.

I was at work feeling like my appendix was going to blow. I had a constant urge to pee, but nothing happened. It got so bad I decided to go to the urgent care after work. Keep in mind we had planned a surprise party for my mother-n-law the same evening. The Doc-n-the box did all the usually stuff. Pushed on my stomach, suck fingers where the sun doesn’t shine, pregnancy test, lots of blood work and finally an x-ray. The x-ray showed my backed upped bowels. Yep, I was full of shit. HA HA HA . I was given a list of different laxatives and told to grab a couple of good magazines. The Doc said all the iron in the prenatal vitamins had backed me up.

I got through the surprise party, but the next couple of days were the shits. HA HA.

From then on I started drinking a ton of water and eating a shit load of fiber. One thing I found that worked was drinking a fruit smoothie every morning. I put one together for my husband and I every night. Then blend it up in the “M.agic B.ullet” before we leave for work. E’s even lost a little weight and I’ve been taking care of business.

Well enough poop about me. Hope ya’ll are having a great day. Chat to ya latter.

For the love of Pete!

2008-07-08T16:55:00.000-07:00

AF finally showed up! It was about 5am this morning and BAM there she was in all her glory. Something like that. This means I can start my shots on the 28th and transfer next month. Speaking of shots. When my sister was here the other day we were talking about her wanting to do something in the nursing field. I had this great idea about having her stay with me and do my shots. It would be perfect. She doesn’t start school back until mid August and she seemed pretty excited about it. We’ll see as it closer if she’s still up for it.

This weekend was pretty nice. Thursday night my sister and brother spent the night. The next morning we all got up really early and drove to South Carolina to get fireworks. We were home by 10am, so we decided to hit the pool until the big shingid started. It was a grand ole time. All the neighbors pulled their grills into the cul-de-sac and cooked out. The kids were running around with their sparklers and the grownups with their beers. I think in total we had about $1000 worth of fireworks. What a mess! Yes, E and I were the only ones to clean it up the next morning. Oh well, we still had fun.

Emotionally the past couple of days have been hard. I guess because AF was closing in. There were a few times I thought about giving up on IVF. The fear of failing again weighed heavy. This morning that all changed. I have a new outlook. That is some people don’t even get the chance to fail. So I’m going on with the knowledge is might fail and bigger hopes that it won’t.

There’s so much more I’d like to say, but I don’t want to bore you guys. Thanks for listening.

Don't Know

2008-07-02T13:21:00.000-07:00

Whats up? I've been sooo busy at work. It's really cutting in to my slack off time! I have been keeping up with you guys post. I'll take a moment to fill ya in.

I came up with this master plan for my sister who wanted to "hang" out. Since I had fallen down the stairs on Thursday. Totally sober. And she needs money. She became my house slave. I had this long list of chores. Mainly vacuuming. She didn’t complain a bit and got it all done. For payment we went the see the new movie “W.anted” and then sushi. Pretty good but bloody. The movie that is. Afterwards we hung out on the deck and talked until 12am. The next day we went grocery shopping and for a treat we hit the pool. We had so much fun we’re going to do it again this weekend.

As for my next FET cycle I’m still waiting. It’s weird. I haven’t had my usual symptoms before I get my aunt flow. Normally my TATAS are really tender. I’m still bloated, but that’s been the same since the IVF cycle. Now keep in mind aunt flow visited right before my negative BETA. Last week I kept getting crampy like I was going to start. I even took Midol to prepare for the pain. Of course I’ve already thought about what you’re probably thinking. There’s no way in Hell. I’ve had my tubes removed and I got a neg. BETA. But what if right? To make sure I pee pee’ed on my last PT and came up with none other than a BIG fat dumbass your NOT PREGANAT! Oh well. Stupid I know.

So I wait!!!!!!!!!

Hip..Hip...Horray..It's Friday!!!!!

2008-06-27T10:24:00.001-07:00

I’ll let ya’ll know the Welsh Rarebit secret if she give it to me.

My 15 yr old sister called me last night to see if we could hang out this weekend. I think she has a motive, but I can’t put my finger on it. I don’t know what we’re going to do besides shop. Hmmmm. Maybe that’s her motive.

Maybe next week my blogs will be more about infertility. As I’m due to start and from there count down 21 days until Lupron. For now I’ll just show you some cute pics of my girls. They were a little jealous when I put up just a pic of the boys.

Have a smashing weekend!!!!!!

Welsh Rarebit?

2008-06-26T10:44:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone is having a great week so far. Me. I'm handing in there. Hubby’s B-day is Friday and I still don't have anything for him. All he wants is a spade to use in his garden. Oh yeah, I did get him a pair of socks. I'm not sure what his parents are getting, but I'm sure it will be better than whatever I come up with. E is the only child. You could say his been a little spoiled. His mom is having us over for dinner. She's making his favorite dish. Welsh rarebit, peas and Nueske's bacon. I original called to get the recipe for the Welsh rarebit. She said, why don't you guys just come over and I'll make it. Ok if you’re sure you don't mind. I know I should have been put off by this, but I really didn't want to screw up his favorite dish.

Here’s a pic of my two favorite guys. Aren’t they cool dudes?

To all the beers I've had before...may there be many,many more.

2008-06-24T07:52:00.001-07:00

If you’ve noticed I rarely post on Monday. I think I'm in zombie mode on Mondays. I see some of you had a relaxing weekend. Mine wasn’t too shabby. Friday night we hung around the house watching the Braves game and UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) until 2am. Saturday after E got back from fishing we dusted off the Mountain bikes and went riding. Lets just say I hurt in places were the sun doesn’t shine.

As goal to get me through the ride we planned to go to our local watering hole. Summits Wayside Tavern. E & I are members of the beer club and we have our own mugs there. There are 3 tiers to the membership. Tier 1 – drink 100 different draft beers and receive a Mug. Tier 2 – 150 draft and bottled beers different from the first 100. Then you move up to the goblet. Tier 3 - 250 additional bottled and draft beers for the grand total of 500 different beers awarding yourself the Pewter Stein. I’ve stopped counting after the first 100. My personalized mug reads " To all the beers I've had before may there be many, many more." A take off of Willy Nelson's song "To all the girls I've had before." Since I don't go that way. Girls got replaced with beers. E has about 30 more to go to reach the second tier. At $5 a pop we could have paid for an IVF cycle. When we got home we had to clean up to go to a 7pm wedding. Having E beered up was the only way I could get him to go. We hit the new sushi place on our way. Not too bad. They hadn’t got their liquor license yet. That was a good thing. My old boss was going to be at the wedding and I didn’t want to be two sheets to the wind when he saw me. The ceremony was really good. The preacher was cracking everyone up. Even saying “do you really want to do this?” Since it was a late wedding the served deserts at the reception. They had all the weeding parties’ favorite deserts. A table 20 feet long table filled with every kind of cake and cookie. Yum! E didn’t’ have any, but I made up for it. I was so jacked up on caffeine and sugar I thought I was going to puke.

Sunday we both slept in until 9am. Ate breakfast and went to the grocery store. Put a pot roast on for dinner and did so much needed cleaning. Afterwards to reward ourselves we had homemade frozen margaritas and sat outside to soak up some rays. Several hours later we called it a day.

I LOVE CUMMING!

2008-06-20T11:58:00.000-07:00

The weekend is finally approaching. There are not many sayings I live by, but “Liven for the weekend” is one of them. The neighbors took E and me out on their boat again last night. We grabbed a bite to eat at the Tiki hut. An outside restaurant on the lake and we were the only ones there. They didn’t have any of the beers I like to drink though. I asked the server if we could BYOB. He said sure I don’t care, so I came back with the entire cooler. Afterwards we watched the sun set If only everyday could be this nice.

Today my neighbor met me for lunch at Mellow Mushroom. They have my beer on tap. Since it was a lunch break I just had pink lemonade. Boring. I love going to the shroom joint. I even bought one of their logo shirts. Cumming is the name of the town the restaurants is in, so on the back of the shirt it says “I Love Cumming.” Yes I ware it out in public. Anyways while we were there a man and his 5 year old daughter can in and sat a table next to us. The little girl had a cast all the way up her leg. Her dad said she broke it playing on the trampoline. I’ve hurt myself so many times on those things. You would think they would outlaw them. We got to taking and he mentioned she had a twin sister.
Here’s how the rest of the conversation went.

Me: Twins. Do they run in the family? (Because you look to old to be starting a family without IVF)

Man: Yeah, we decided one day we would start a family and the next week she was pregnant. Kids are so great. I don’t how I we would have lived without them.

Me: She’s really pretty. (She must get it from her mother)

Little girl: I’m this many and he's 44.

Me: Oh he doesn’t look a day over 40. (That was the truth)

Man: Do ya’ll have any kids? (Ya’ll because we’re in the south)

Me: Neither one of us can get pregnant. (No matter haw many times we have sex)

Man: That’s ok. You’re not any older than 23 or 25 are you? (Not sure if his blind or just stupid)

Me: Thanks. I’m 30 (not quite as old as dirt)

Me: I’m doing IVF (and your daughters not that cute)

Man: I wish you luck (luck ain’t got nothing to do with it. You got an extra grand you can give me or maybe a kid)

The guy was gushing with love and joy for his daughters. I couldn't expect him to see our pain.

On a happier note. I hope all of ya'll have a wicked awesome weekend.

What the hell day is it? Oh right..Wednesday..A.K.A...HUMP DAY!

2008-06-18T10:09:00.000-07:00

So far my week has consisted of work, reading, exercising (6 pak curls) and a nice boat ride with the neighbors. My weekend was a little more involved. My husband is a big yard nut. He loves piddling around in his garden. He even has a garden gnome. Friday after work I helped him mow the yard. Saturday we pruned bushes and laid pine straw out in the flower beds. Sunday we decide to have my family over for a BBQ for father’s day. Oh Joy!

We had smoked BBQ chicken, broccoli salad (yum), oven baked bean and homemade Texas toast…YUMMERS! For desert. Root beer floats. Yes it was the bomb. The only mistake I made was getting out the big bottle of wine. My Mom hardly ever drinks. I guess she felt like letting go so I gave her a glass. Did I mention what a mistake! She was on her high horse going from one subject to another. Since I’m a firm believer in finishing what you open. She and I drank the whole thing. Not before she took a couple of stabs at O.prah. I think she’s been watching too much TV. She did say she likes E.llen D.eGeneres.

My Mom and I have a strange relationship. I didn’t live with her until I was 8 years old. Her and my Dad (sperm donor) married and devoiced not once but twice. This all occurred before I was 4. My Dad got custody of me the second time. She did get me back after he took me out of the state and hide me for 6 months. A very long story short. We’ve always been more like sisters than Mother and daughter. She never told me what to do or ever punished me. When it comes to my younger brother and sister. I’m more like their mother figure in the sense I think they should be punished.

Another very long story short. I’m 15 years old than my sister and I drove my Mom the hospital when she was in labor with my brother. My brother was 5 and my sister was 7 when I got married. So you see why I’m a little protective of them. Their also the reason I wasn’t in a hurry to have kids.

E has know my brother since he was 3 and he used to take to the potty when we were out. Now he takes his brother-n-law fishing so they can bond. Kind of strange, but somehow it works.
Maybe one of the days I’ll tell how my Mom got me back. It’s kind of neat

Meme , myself and I...Why not!

2008-06-11T10:58:00.000-07:00

Just a little thing going around. Join in if ya want.

1. What was I doing ten years ago? It 1998 and I was 20. E and I had just started dating. So you could say I was a little busy on my back. Ha Ha. I was managing a small Hardware store that kept me very busy. I ended up working there for 12 years. Boy does the time fly. If you need to know how to fix anything, just ask.

2. 5 things on my to do list today: Make grocery list, Go grocery shopping, get hair gel from Ulta (it won’t help) , clean up the guest room ( it still has Christmas wrapping paper all over the bed), Call my Aunt to chat (5 hours later my ear is bleeding).

3. Snacks I enjoy: Cabot’s Jalapeno cheese and Triscuts crackers the cracked pepper w/ olive oil kind with Frank’s Red Hot sauce, Spicy Cheez-its, Green olives, any kind of Godiva chocolates. And if I eat these standing up the calories don’t count.

4. Things I would do if I were a billionaire: Have the coolest car collection and not drove any of them because I would be to busy flying my jet around the world. OK, so maybe it all went to my head. I would definitely put others before myself, but the occasional jet ride wouldn’t hurt. Maybe just my carbon foot print.

5. Places I have lived: Born and raised in GEORGIA.

6. People I want to know more about: I would liked to know more about our next president (whomever it might be), My neighbors (maybe), My blogger buds 4-sure, and lastly myself.

Random Shit!

2008-06-10T12:32:00.000-07:00

Even though I haven’t been writing any post for the last few days, I’ve been reading a lot of them. I was hoping something great would happen and I could talk about it. So far…Nothing.

I do have a lot of things going on in my head I could talk about.

Like why my Aunt hasn’t sent me the rest of the series of books she promised.

Should I vacuum the living room or run on the treadmill instead. (I ran/walked an hour yesterday…my ass hurts.)

Do I want hot dogs for dinner? If I have hot dogs I would have to have fries. That would mean running on the treadmill tomorrow.

I need to visit the Yoga shop that’s near my work to see if I like the place.

I need a hobby to get me out of the house. The problem is I can’t socialize without BEER. It tends to break the ice and sometimes helps me make an ass of myself.
The neighborhood has a monthly book club and they play BUNKO once a week. I thought that might not be so bad. I wouldn’t have to go far and we can BYOB for BUNKO. The only problem is I would have to socialize. It’s not like I don’t want to play with others. I just don’t like it when the “Do you have Kids?” question comes up. No but I have 11 embryos on ice.

Anyways these are some of my random thoughts for the day. Maybe something better tomorrow.

Don't worry about a thing ;)

2008-06-05T10:30:00.000-07:00

So the past couple of days I’ve kept to myself. Not really wanting to talk to anyone. Perhaps I’m trying not to wear myself out pretending to be happy. Not that I’m unhappy, just not my normal happy go lucky self.

In the past it seemed like my friends were always having problems one after the other. They never had a problem dumping on me for support. Now that the tables are turned I really don’t want them worrying about my issues. They all have SERVERAL children and on their second marriage. Most of their problems I can’t relate to. Just like they can’t relate to why I would pay good money to have a kid. I’m happily married with no children. What could be better right?

The fact of the matter is I should be happy. I love my life and my husband. I wouldn’t it trade if for the world. Just because I can’t pop out babies on demand doesn’t mean I’m worthless and should stop living. So I’ve decided to start doing the things I love to do.

1.) Start taking pics with my 300xs 35mm camera.
2.) Yoga
3.) Painting canvas
4.) SEX

Really number 4 is on the top of my list.

Enough with poor ole me (notice I said ole instead of old). I’m going to enjoy my, hopefully short lived, days without children and do the things I love.

What would you do if you weren't consumed by infertility?

Now I'm going to let Bob say a few words .

Don't worry about a thing
'cause ev'ry little thing gonna be alright
singin' "Don't worry about a thing,
'cause ev'ry little thing gonna be alright.
Rise up this morning,
smiled with the rising sun
Three little birds pitched by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs of melodies pure and true
Sayin' "This is my message to you-u-u"
Singin' "Don't worry about a thing
'cause ev'ry little thing gonna be alright."
Singin' "Don't worry about a thing,
'cause ev'ry little thing gonna be alright

Round 2

2008-06-02T12:48:00.000-07:00

Well, we went to the Doc today to hear what he had to say about the failed cycle. Blah...blah...blah..not much. I'm not bitter, but maybe just a little pissed. This next cycle starts next month with my next period. It's supposed to be alot easier than the fresh cycle. I start out doing the Lupron shots, yeah , then the progesterone orally with only one sono check.

At least I have something to look forward to. I think this week I'll start back on the treadmill. I don't have much of an excuse anymore. I swear all the hormones made my ass grow 3 inches. It couldn't have been all the sitting around reading 13 series of novels.

I have alot to talk about but I'm at work so I'll have to go for now.

"NOT PREGNANT"

2008-05-28T06:52:00.000-07:00

Thats what my pee test said this weekend and it was confirmed yesterday with the beta test.

Friday I called the nurse to tell her I was spotting. She asked what color it was, brown, thats normal. So I went on my weekend trip feeling a little better about it. Sunday I took the pee test and it came back negative. I stood in the bathroom for the longest time wondering if I should tell E. I wanted to wait until we were alone and could talk about it. At first he was mad that I took it without telling him. We didn't say anything to his parents who were on the trip with us. Tuesday E and I went in for my beta test. I think E thought we would know right away, he seemed a little stressed when I told him we had to wait. I got the news about 2 hours later.

Dr. K called himself to give the news. He said he was surprised it didn't take, but we should try again. Easy for him to say! I have 11 frozen A grade embryo's, so all hope is not lost. A frozen cycle is much easier and only a fraction of the cost. Atleast in Dr. K's eyes. We have an appointment with him on Monday to talk about what might have gone wrong and to discuss a frozen cycle. I wasn't planning on having to do this again, so I don't know much about how a frozen cycle works.

I haven't had a chance to tell my Mom yet. I really didn't want to talk to anyone yesterday. Everytime I thought about it I either started to cry or wanted to kick something. I buried my nose in a book and drank 2 beers to take my mind of it for a little while. The only problem with this method is now I'm done with my book and I have to get more beer. I'm not going to fall of the band wagon or anything. I'm going to keep drinking decaf and exercising. There are several parties we been invited to the next couple of weekends. I might have a glass of wine or two, but thats it.

I'm not trying to have a pitty party but this really sucks. The next couple of weeks are going to be really hard. I don't even want to go the grocery store in fear I'll see a happy family with all thier babies. Or even worse run into someone that I know and thier pregnant. I looked online yesterday at adoption agencys. The wait can be anywhere from 9 months to a year . Thats not including all the hours of classes and home evaluation. I don't know if I want to adopt, but it seems like I should be thinking about it.

If we decided to go through with the frozen cycle I'm not telling anyone. Except for you guys.

To pee or not to pee.

2008-05-23T04:26:00.000-07:00

E and I made last minute plans to go on a trip with his parents this weekend. We're staying at cabin in the Smokey Moutains and renting a boat to go fishing. It's not the beach but it will do. I really don't feel like wearing a bathing suit anyways. My mother-n-law is bring everything but the kitchen sink. She'd make a great boy scout.

So I decided to purchase a pee test to use this weekend. This probably wasn't a good idea. OH well. I got the one that says "Pregnant" "Not Pregnant". I had to have looked like an idiot standing there picking up every box and reading them. I've bought so many with the hope I was pregnant, but this time it was different. This time it really could say I'm pregnant. My plan is to use it on Sunday which will be 10 days since the transfer. E was excited when he saw it, but I told him not to say anything to his parents.

I haven't been feeling that great. Towards the end of the day I'm so tired and nauseous I don't even want to eat. I'm trying to eat little meals during the day to help the nausea. Things with high protein are suppose to help. Aleast thats what I've read. My body is on overload between the prenatal vitamins and the progesterone. All the iron is backing me up a little. I just ate a hand full of punres to see if that helps. YUK! Lots of water too.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy weekend.

Tic..Toc...Tic...Toc...

2008-05-20T04:28:00.000-07:00

I HATE waiting! I thought this would be easier than this. I can feel this flame of excitement burning inside, but I can't let it out yet. Seven more days before I can take the beta test. I know because I have a count down on my desk calander. I'm debating whether or not to take a pee test this weekend, but not sure if it's a good idea. I don't think I can take bad news over phone. If I take the test and it's negative aleast I'll be prepared. Right?

I starting reading "What to expect when your expecting". It has a list of pregnancy symptoms that of cousre I have all of them. I know that most ,all, of what I'm feeling is from the progesterone. I guess I'm just grasping for hope and reassurance. I've decided not to look at again until after my test.

I went grocery shopping this weekend and caught myself looking down the baby goods aisle. Then I was shopping for summer shirts and found myself in the maternity section. I'm driving myself CRAZY! I need to be locked up in the house for the rest of the week. It doesn't help that E asked if I can feel it working. Hell I don't know what the hell I feeling. Can you tell I'm frustrated? I find myself being absorbed in my thoughts and not saying anything for hours. E wants to know if I'm OK. Again, who the hell knows. Don't get me wrong. I'm doing my best not to lash out when I answer, but sometimes it sounds like it. I know its the hormones and thats not an excuse.

What do you think about the pee test? Should I go for it and if so which one?

I gots my Embryo's

2008-05-18T04:36:00.000-07:00

They originally told me it would be on Saturday, but Thursday was the day. I got the call at 9am to be there at 12pm. E was racing across town to meet me. Drank at least 32 - 40 oz of water and had to pee before we ever left. We arrived on a few mins early and was told they were running behind. OMG! She told me I could go just a little, but I would need to drink more water. I was out the door in a flash. Two and a half glasses later they called me in. Lets just say everyone was happy to see me go.

The nurse told me the lady before me was having trouble with her transfer and they had to cancel. I felt bad for complaining, but my eyes were floating. She did a quick check of my bladder and said it was really full. Let a cup out or so until you feel better. At this point I could have let a gallon out and still be fine.

Once I could focus I saw the picture of our two 8cell, A grade embryo's. How cool is this! I definitely doing before and after shots. E sat beside me and we watched on the screen our embries going in. Ten mins later we were done and in the elevator. Now what?

I held the picture in my hand the whole way home. I even gave them names - Albert & Allison.
All of the embryo's were A's except for one. Out of the 14 we were able to freeze 11 and transfer two. They were going to keep a eye on the one to see if it divided any more.

My beta test is on the 27th. I hope the next two weeks don't kill me.

Oh Baby!

2008-05-14T04:30:00.000-07:00

Wow the last couple of days have been exhausting. Monday was my egg retrieval and it went pretty good. Out of 17 eggs 14 fertilized - 8 icsi and 6 naturally. Boy have I been sore the past two days. I felt like they used a Mac truck to get up in there. Today I'm feeling better.

On the way to work this morning I kept thinking about all my embryo's and I started to cry. It's just all so overwhelming to think that we're so close to being pregnant. I'm kinda sitting on pins and needles waiting for the transfer. Dr. K is wanting to wait until the 5th day. It's looking like Saturday. At least this way I can rest all weekend.

E gave me the progestrone shot last night and he did a wonderful job. He pulled it off even with his hands shaking.

A day off.

2008-05-11T04:55:00.001-07:00

I have a day off from shots, my egg retrieval is tomorrow. I've been so tired lately from the shots and the stress. It's kinda nice to relax my brain today. Dr. K is thinking about waiting 5 days before transfer, but we'll know more by Tuesday.
Yesterday wore me out. Went to the Doc at 8am and then went looking for Mother's day gifts. I always go this cute little garden nursery that has lots of unique gifts. By the time I got home I was zonked. My husband had to meet a customer at work, so I hit the sack. Put in a good 4 hours.
At 10 pm I had to do my trigger shot. I had E do it because I was so tired. He did a great job- seemed like he might even enjoyed it. I think his pleasure came from knowing this was a new beginning to our IVF. It's hard to believe by this time next week we'll be with Embryos. OK so I'm stretching some, but every little bit helps.
For Mother's day E's making me breakfast. Getting me 20 mothers days cards was too much I guess.

KABOOM!

2008-05-08T07:48:00.000-07:00

Day 7 of Goanl and I'm feeling a little bloated. I hurts to sit, walk or stand. All I want to do is lay down. My boss has a couch in his office thats looking pretty good right now. Heartburn , headaches and doctor appointments have been filling my days.

I have 7am appointments which require me to get up at 5am - sucks. This morning I was wide awake a 4am, so when the alarm rang at 5am I was out of bed. I got to the clinic 30mins early sat in my car and read my book. You never know what the traffic is going to be like. "Hurry up and wait" I said to myself.

There was a couple of ladies waiting at the BLOOD DOOR I call it. We got to talking about how the blood girls aren't really that nice. It's good to hear I wasn't the only one thinking this. I've gotten the same woman everytime and she never smiles. This morning I drank a big glass of water and when I got in the chair I grabbed the squeeze ball to pump up my veins. She gave me her usual non-smile face and begain to draw blood. Ouch-She didn't get the vein but kept trying to move the neddle around to find it. Being the hard headed woman that I am I didn't show any pain. Crap give up move to the other arm! Finally she switched and bingo we got blood. I guess just because I paid THOUSANDS of dallors doesn't mean I should expect a smile.

Anyways, I now have 14 follicles over 1.5 mm and my estrogen level is 1007. WOW!

Is it to early to get excited?

2008-05-06T05:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my estrogen level was above average (286) for the 4th day of Gonal and I had 2 each follicles over 1mm in size. Dr. K said to stay the same course- 100 IU of Gonal and .05cc Lupron. This morning my estrogen level was (433 ) and I had 4 each follicles over 1mm-12 total. My nurse said she normally doesn't see this much progress on the 5th day of meds. Dr. K says same meds and no blood work or ultrasound tomorrow only a health check. My husbands coming along to get a demo on the progresterone shots-ouch.

It maybe early to excited, but I do like good news.

So this is how it's going to be.

2008-05-05T04:55:00.000-07:00

We took my mother-n-law out to one of my favorite restaurants this weekend for her birthday. Of course it was going to be during the time I needed to take my shot. I got it ready and tossed it in my purse. The mistake I made was letting them know I was going to need to do it at the restaurant. They kept telling what time it was to make sure I didn't miss it. Before our desserts came I excused myself and headed for the restroom. Luckly there wasn't anyone in there. I hiked up my dress and did the deed. When I got back to the table dessert was waiting - What a treat. That was fast my father-n-law said. It dawned on me that everyone was on pins and "needles" waiting for me to return. Next time I'll keep it to myself.

Got a check up this morning need to go jump in the shower.

And we're off!

2008-05-02T05:09:00.000-07:00

Had my suppression check yesterday and everythings a go. Started the Gonal F (ioo iu) this morning and another tonight. I'm going to the Doc everyday next week. Luckly my boss, father-n-law, is ok with me being out so much. He's hoping for boys! My husband is so excited. He ask me every morning if I've taken my shot. It seems like it's taken forever to get here and now it's flying by. My retrieval date will be around May 13th.

I can do it!

2008-05-01T04:36:00.000-07:00

This was my second time doing my lupron shot. I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself. I've NEVER been a fan of shots. The first time it took over 10 mins because I was so worked up. I felt like I needed a cigeratte and I don't smoke. Now that I'm 2 wks into this I thought I would share how I got over my fear. By using the video it made it seem like I had an audience. Therefor I had no way out. People were watching.

Gee Thanks

2008-04-26T15:18:00.000-07:00

I ran into the my neighbor at the grocery store tonight. She's gone through IFV and knows I am also. She asked how I was doing and told me it would be ok if it didn't work out. Well gee thanks for the words of encouragement. Fact of the matter is its going to SUCK if it doesn't work. Her first cycle didn't take, but on her second she used frozen embyros and all three took. Now she has a cute kid. I guess it just rubbed me the wrong way. Could be the extra stress and my hormones. Yea think? I'm tring to stay postive and keep things into prospective.

One Week under my belt

2008-04-25T04:32:00.000-07:00

For the past week my goal has been to get through the shots. I've been so caught up in it my long term goal had became second. Wow, I was doing all this to get pregnant and in just a few short weeks it could happen. In the back of my mind I knew this, but now it's becoimg more realistic. My husband and I have beeen married for 8yrs with NO childern. We both love and want childern very much. It scares me a little when I think we might have more than one running around. We have a supportive family and they will do whatever it takes to help us out. Still I'll be the one getting up all hours of the night and I like my sleep. You could say I'm a lititle stuck in my ways, but ready for a change.

5th day of Lupron

2008-04-22T10:33:00.000-07:00

What a challange this has been. I've had to overcome my fear of needles with injecting myself. The first morning of my cycle I sat in the bathroom with the needle hovering over my thigh. Thirty minutes later my husband had to execute the shot and boy did it hurt. That night I got online and found the other bloggers highly suggested injecting in the stomach. So the next morning I rangled up the courage and took a pinch of skin. 1...2..3 nothing, 1..2...3333 and in it went. Wow I didn't even feel it!

Now I'm on day 5 with 9 more until my supression check. Then onto the Gonal F.